Children's Liturgy of the Word

See how excited Katherine is?  That's because she made her headband during Children's Liturgy of the Word at Mass last Sunday.  This was a big accomplishment for us.  Our parish has Children's Liturgy of Word during the 9 o'clock Sunday Mass.  The kids go to the Parish Hall and learn about that day's Gospel while making crafts or coloring.  In the past, I've encouraged Katherine to go but at the last minute she gets scared and runs back to me.  She was always afraid to go by herself.  She's pretty shy and doesn't know any of the other kids in our Parish.  (I'm working on that.)  Last Sunday on the drive to Mass, I talked to Katherine about the Children's Liturgy of the Word.  She wanted me to go with her and I explained it was only for the kids, not the mommies and daddies.  She said she wanted her cousins to go with her which is a great idea.  The only problem with that idea is we don't have family in Sioux City.  I explained to Katherine that her cousins don't live in Sioux City and go to a different church.  She told me it was scary and I told her she didn't have to decide right then if she wanted to go.  She could decide at the last minute in church, which is what she did.  When it came time for the kids to gather, she said no, it was scary and she didn't want to go.  Suddenly she changed her mind.  I walked to the front of the church with her so she could get her blessing before leaving.  Standing next to us was a high-school girl.  I quietly asked if she was one of the helpers and she said she was.  "Katherine, this is one of the teachers.  She's going to help you make some fun crafts today," I told Katherine while pointing to the girl.  "Do you want to make some fun crafts today?" the girl asked Katherine.  When the blessing was complete, the girl took Katherine by the hand and they left the church.  I could tell Katherine was nervous.  She looked back a few times and had a nervousness in her posture as she walked out but she made it.  Even Father McLoud was impressed.  I kept an eye out for her when the kids started coming back into church.  It's left up to the kids to find their parents when the Children's Liturgy is done.  (I wish they'd do that differently.)  The same high school girl who took Katherine's hand to go to Children's Liturgy was walking with her again and holding her hand as they looked for me.  I gave Katherine a big wave and they both saw me.  Katherine came running over, wearing her headband.  We were both very excited.  Katherine's verdict on Children's Liturgy: It was fun but she missed me.

What I'm Reading, May 2016 edition

As mentioned in previous blog posts, I love to read.  With two little people running around, reading can be hard to squeeze in.  I usually read during my lunch hour and right before bed.  Here is what I'm currently reading and what's on my to-be read list:

On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm slowly reading my way through the Little House series. I finished Farmer Boy in April and started On the Banks of Plum Creek.  In this book, Laura's family has moved to Minnesota and is living in a dugout, to use Ma's words.  I'm not very far into to the book so I really can't offer much of a synopsis.  This is my before bed book and I'm really enjoying it.  The books are an easy enough read to help me relax before going to sleep and the chapters are just the right length too.

Hands Free Life: 9 Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better and Loving More by Rachel Macy Stafford
This book is pretty interesting.  The subtitle is what drew me to the book.  I definitely need help overcoming distraction which seems to be ever present in our world.  I can't say that I've implemented each habit.  I'm not one to drastically overhaul our lives just because a book says to.  The book does provide some interesting things to think about and overall I've enjoyed the book.  The author does include a poem with each section or chapter, which I skip over.  I don't mind some poetry but Stafford's style is not my thing.  I also bought Stafford's other book Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters!.  I probably won't read it immediately after finishing this book but I will add it to my list of books to read this year.

On My Bookshelf:
Go Dairy Free: The Guide and Cookbook for Milk Allergies, Lactose Intolerance, and Casein-Free Living by Alisa Marie Fleming
   I bought this book awhile ago when I needed to cut dairy out of my diet when Sean was a newborn.  His dairy allergy seems to have flared back up so I'm going to be revisiting this book.

By The Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder
  The next book in the Little House series.  It will be my before bed book.

Homer's Odyssey: A Fearless Feline, or How I Learned About Love and Life with a Blind Wonder Cat by Gwen Cooper
  I picked up this book at the Book Lover's Book Sale our public library puts on every year.  {A side note: This was the first year I went to the book sale and I'm totally hooked. Great books for a super cheap price, yes please!}  I'm a cat person so pretty much any book about cats will catch my eye.  I also love stories about people or animals overcoming the odds so a story about a blind cat really appealed to me.

What are you reading?

Blowing the Dust Off

That's right!  I'm blowing the dust off my blog and reviving it.  I've been away from my blog and writing for quite some time.  There were multiple causes.  A new baby and  a toddler made me too busy to even think straight.  There were some family events happening that made me too sad to even try to write.  And many other reasons.  But I feel ready to dive back into writing.  I've missed it.  Stay tuned.  I'll have another post early next week.

A Tale of Two Births

At first glance, my birth stories might seem identical.  Both of my children were delivered by c-section. But two pregnancies, two deliveries are never the same.  My pregnancies and birth stories prove this statement to be 100% true.

My pregnancy with Katherine was full of complications: high blood pressure, swelling, irregular heartbeat and fluid in my lungs.  This was diagnosed as atypical preeclampsia and resulted in an emergency c-section 33 weeks into my pregnancy.   Katherine was born at 2:30 in the morning. After Katherine was born, my doctor said "It's a girl!" and I heard her cry.  The sound was a welcomed sound.  I had been in the hospital for observation earlier in the week and was given a steroid shot to help Katherine's lungs develop.  Hearing her cry reassured me that her lungs were fine.  The NICU nurse brought her over to me all swaddled up and said "Kiss goodbye before she goes upstairs".  I kissed her face and they took her away.  Another nurse asked Steve if he was staying with me or going with Katherine.  Steve asked me what he should do and I told him to go with Katherine.  I didn't want her to be by herself up in the NICU.  (I know she wasn't technically by herself with the doctors and nurses there but I couldn't stomach the idea of her not being with one of us.)  Steve followed the nurse upstairs and I immediately wished I had told him to stay.  This feeling immediately went away after my procedure was done.  I'm still glad I told Steve to go with Katherine.  I don't remember much from that day.  I do remember thinking I was never going to get better and feeling terrible that I wouldn't be able to care for the tiny baby upstairs in the NICU.  "All I wanted was a baby" I remember thinking.  Hours later the nurses and Steve wheeled me (IV and all) to the NICU so I could see Katherine and hold her that first day.  I could only hold her for 10 minutes at a time because I was so weak.  I wanted to hold her longer but I just couldn't.  I was so sick and out of it that first day that I don't remember having the morphine drip provided for all c-sections.  I also wasn't able to adequately manage my pain because I was simply too sick the first few days and the pain got out of control. I spent 7 days in the hospital recovering from my c-section and preeclampsia.  Katherine was born 7 weeks early and stayed in the hospital 29 days.

My pregnancy with Sean went so much smoother.  The only complication I had was gestational diabetes which at worst was annoying.  I was able to manage it with diet and exercise.  My c-section was scheduled.  Steve and I drove to the hospital, checked in and within a few hours had our baby boy.  The OR staff was relaxed and introduced themselves to me as they prepared for the surgery.  (With my first c-section, the atmosphere was a lot more stressed due to my unstable condition and the knowledge of delivering a baby early.)  The surgical nurse and my doctor held my hands as the spinal was put in place.  After Sean was delivered, my doctor held him up so I could see him over the tarp exclaiming "It's a boy!" and I cried tears of joy.  Steve was able to go with the nurse to weigh Sean.  The staff were guessing Sean's weight because he was a lot bigger than the doctor had anticipated.  He weighed 9 lbs and 1 oz.  A nurse practitioner from the NICU was called down because Sean's Apgar score had decreased to a 7 from the 8 he initially scored.  The nurse practitioner had been one of Katherine's NICU nurses so it was fun to see her again.  Sean was able to stay downstairs and not make a stay at the NICU.  Steve brought Sean over to me and I was able to hold him for a little bit.  When the nurse took Sean out of the OR, Steve went with him.  (It's my preference to have him go with the baby instead of stay with me.)  A little while later I was wheeled back to my recovery room and able to see both of them.  Sean's blood sugar was low so he was given a little bit of formula to bring his sugars up.  I was better able to control my pain after Sean's birth.  Being healthy will have that effect. ;)  My hospital stay was 4 days and I was able to take my baby home with me when I left.  I can't explain how great of a feeling that is after not being able to do that with Katherine.  My recovery has been so much smoother.  A lot of this has to do with my health after the birth and also the reduced stress load.  I don't have to go back to the NICU each day to be with my baby or worry about balancing time at home with time at the hospital.  I can simply enjoy my maternity leave with both of my kids.

To further illustrate the differences in my birth stories, here are a few pictures:

After Katherine was born:

(Believe it or not, this was NOT the worst picture of me from that day.)

After Sean was born:

34 Weeks and Counting!

34 weeks!  34 weeks!  34 weeks!  I made it to 34 weeks!  I've never made it this far into a pregnancy before.  Katherine was born at 33 weeks.  Steve and I psyched about how well this pregnancy is going.  It's a nice feeling to be healthy and know my baby probably won't spend time in the NICU.  (Although I do love the Unity Point NICU staff.  They were great!)  So celebrate with us that this pregnancy is going so well!

Giving Thanks: The Mind of a Child

Katherine has such an inquisitive mind.  It's one of the many reasons I'm thankful to be a mom.  We put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving and she helped decorate.  For a few days afterward she would go over to the tree and point out various ornaments.  "A horse, Mommy!  Where other one go?"  "A ball!"  (for the purple and silver Christmas tree bulbs)  We'd stand for a few minutes looking at the Christmas tree and enjoying how pretty it is.  She's reminding me to slow down and savor the moments in the holiday season.  It's so easy to get caught up in the rush of everyday life.  Her excitement and joy about simple Christmas decorations remind me that this is what the season is truly about: finding joy in the little things and enjoying each day.  She also wants the Christmas tree to be lit all the time.  Each morning I make sure to plug the tree in before she comes downstairs so she's greeted by a lit tree.  

She's also a little nut.  Yesterday we were grocery shopping and she was laughing at everything.  And I do mean everything.  I have no idea what was so funny at Fareway yesterday but it made a normally mundane task a lot more fun.

A Gift to Last a Lifetime

I love to read.  It's truly one of my favorite hobbies.  I remember the first time I went to a Barnes and Noble.  It was so huge and books were everywhere.  It was magical.  Reading holds a special place in my heart.  When I was younger, I couldn't read and it impacted my life in a major way.  Many of you don't know (some of you do) that I repeated first grade.  It was one of the most influential, embarrassing and difficult moments of my life.  I know you're probably thinking that's a little dramatic considering how young a first grader is but it's true.  Having to repeat a grade shaped who I would become.  When I was in first grade the first time, I couldn't read.  The school was using a new method to teach reading and it didn't click with my logic-based brain.  I was sent to the resource room to work on my reading.  Only it didn't have much of an effect.  My first grade teacher was young and inexperienced.  My parents weren't told the depth of my struggles with reading until 3rd quarter conferences when asked if they would consider holding me back.  The teacher waited too long to talk to my parents about my struggles.  If it had been brought to their attention earlier in the year, they could have worked with me at home to improve my reading.  But they didn't have time to do that before the end the school year.  My parents made the decision to yes, hold me back a grade.  It was the right decision.  The class I ultimately graduated with is the class I feel like I truly belonged in.  But at the time, for my young ego and heart, it was extremely difficult.  I had failed.  I had never failed at something so major and so publicly in my little life.  I cried the last day of school when I was told I wouldn't be going to second grade with the rest of my class.

My mom taught me to read the summer between first grades.  My aunt Colleen, my God mother, suggested my mom use the old Phonics method to teach me to read.  It was more logic based than the method the school used and Aunt Colleen felt it would make sense to my logic-based brain.  And it did.  My mom spent the whole summer working with me in the evenings, going over lessons in reading.  Phonics focuses on sounding out words.  At times it was really hard.  I would cry and say "But you don't care about me!" to which my mom would reply "No." (as in "No, that's not true.  I do care.").  Eventually she turned it into a game.  I couldn't say that phrase until the end of a lesson page in the Phonics textbook.  The Phonics series we used had little story books to go with the lessons.  I still remember the look of those books: small, simple type, maybe a black and white picture of the characters.  I loved reading those little books with their simple stories.  I was getting it.  I was reading.

By the time I began first grade the second time, I could read.  I don't remember much about my second year of first grade.  I had a different teacher than the previous year.  (My original teacher went to a different town after getting married, I think.)  I do remember there was a bully from my former class who was always sent to the hall for being in trouble and would call me stupid as I walked by.  And that hurt.  My best friend, Jennifer, and I were in the same grade which now, I'm thankful for.  She's been a huge part of my life since we were babies.  It was nice to have a friend in my new grade that year.  By second grade, I had more confidence in myself and my abilities.  My second grade teacher asked my mom why I was held back.  Upon learning the reason, she responded "You're kidding!  She's one of the best readers in the class."  I had caught up.  The fear of failure learned at such a young age stayed with me for a long time.  It took me a long time to learn that it's ok to fail.  It's ok to not be the best at everything.  

And so my faithful readers, after all of this, the struggles, the tears, the humiliation, came a love of reading.  Reading means so much to me, probably more than the average person.  It signifies that I am smart, that I am capable of things I didn't think I could do.